


Heartbreaker

by MizzGinger



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Smut, haikyuu!! - Freeform, high school romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22245445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizzGinger/pseuds/MizzGinger
Summary: It's been naturally assumed that Oikawa is the heartbreaker in any story. He is indeed handsome and popular, but that isn't necessarily the case in his love story. No,  he is but a simple idiot in love and desperate for you.Oikawa x Reader | Rated M for later chapters
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru & Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	1. Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> I've been dying to kick off this story since 2018 but now I finally got the inspiration and chance to write this. A lot of angst, romance and just a love story on how two selfish people grow. Chapters will be longer after this one, and I expect it to be 15-20 chapters. I hope you enjoy! (and pls tell me if you do so i can see where my priorities go). 

** Chapter 1: Your Love **

It's all a farce. Fake laugh. Fake touches. Fake smile.

All a farce to impress the girls around him. They push magazines in his face, asking for his autograph and citing that they are his biggest fans despite having never attended one of his games. Oikawa sees no harm in appeasing them and does as he's asked. Blushes and high pitched squeals follow suit.

You watch on from the table not too far off from the group. Spring's pink foliage decorates the school's courtyard and acts as a backdrop to your heart's grievances. If only Oikawa understood how his actions affect you but he's too blinded by his own self to see anything.

"Ummm!!! Can we have lunch with you?!"

The slight pause in answering them irks you and you bite off a bigger piece of your sandwich than you had intended to. It's a clear error on your part in asking him out to lunch in the school courtyard where everyone can spot him. Not a soul can leave alone in this school and it shows. You hurriedly chew your food to interject and pull the boy out of the crowd, but Oikawa declines with practiced ease.

"Sooorrry, girls. My girlfriend is waiting for me," he claps his hand to beg for forgiveness even though there is nothing to be sorry for.

They all boo in frustration and direct their gazes over to you. Your cheeks are ballooned to exaggerated proportions, filled with the bite you last took of your sandwich. In a sad attempt at normalcy, you haphazardly swallow but end up hacking up the monstrous bite. Grace is not on your side while you are on display, but it wards the fans off.

"Woah! You okay, babe?" Oikawa rushes over and hands you your water bottle.

As you chug down the contents of your lunch, you stare at Oikawa with a glare. "You don't owe those girls an apology," you mutter finally.

His widen stare remains for a bit as he settles himself across from you at the table. You notice his fingers dance around the table's surface until they find purchase in your snacks. "Hey, don't think too hard on it, [Name]. It doesn't hurt to make them happy."

"What if it doesn't make me happy?" you spit out as you steal back your bag of chips.

He chuckles hesitantly as he knows he now travels in uncertain waters. "Come on, don't be jealous. I chose you after all."

His response does nothing to ease your tumultuous emotions and a pout forms on your lips. You can sense his unwillingness to delve into a deeper conversation which has always been the case. He never has spoken to you seriously and he never will. Any attempt on your end will just lead to heartbreak. "But I'm not jealous..."

He reaches over to play with your bangs, hoping some display of affection would smooth over the conversation. "You're just too cute, [Name]. You have nothing to worry about..."

You take a bite of your sandwich again and allow him to continue toying with your hair, ignoring the bad premonitions bubbling in your gut. As you open your mouth to change the subject, you notice him waving at the same group of girls, who are now stationed 20 feet away from you two behind a tree. Your stomach begins to squeeze in pain and your chest tightens. 

"Babe--"

"You're coming to my games tomorrow, right?" Oikawa smiles as he returns his attention to you.

You frown but answer without missing a beat. "Of course... The Interhigh tournament?"

He nods his head. "Mhm, our game starts later than the others so you don't have to be there until 11 A.M.-- OHH! And Tobio is going to be there, it's going to be fun destroying him--"

You stare at him as he prattles on about volleyball. Times like this you cherish... Well, cherish **ed**. Now, all you feel are pain and a yearning for your simpler past. You know it's wrong of you to want something normal from this relationship, but he did warn you. 

_'Volleyball will come before you. Is that okay?'_

You remember your younger self not understanding what this meant and you wholeheartedly agreed to him. However, you can feel your love now turning into poison and soon that poison will destroy you... but you can't let go. Not when he fought so hard in the first place to be with you.


	2. Where his eyes land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops i thought i had updated here :x

**Chapter 2: Your Love**

When people ask how you view yourself, they are meet with a very bland answer. You aren't popular but you aren't disliked; you're pretty but not enough to turn heads (in your opinion). You have a stable family life, stable relationships with your friends, and decent grades in school. You aren't the top of anything, you aren't the bottom of anything.

You see yourself as just there, an existence that moves through the torrents of life.

_And he yearns for that._

You travel up the steps to your family home and as you close the gate behind you, you hear the call of your name. "[Name]!" You notice Oikawa jogging up the street to meet your confused stare. He halts right in front of you with no smile to greet you. "Here."

He grabs hold of your wrist to pull it up to half his height; there he places a generous amount of bags with chocolate. You recall today being Valentine's Day but seeing as how you're virtually invisible, you don't participate nor bother in it. "... Are these yours?"

"I can't have chocolate, I'm practicing for the next tournament," he explains. "And why are you out so late?"

"I went to the internet cafe."

Images of you raging at a computer screen flood his mind and a frown takes shape on his lips. "You shouldn't be out so late, [Name]." You don't say a word, your lips forming into a small pout as you ready yourself to counter. "I'm not being dumb, you just forget you're a girl sometimes."

You have no retort and he saunters over to his house which resides beside yours. He waves goodbye and escapes inside, leaving you there with a frown and some chocolates. Long has he known you due to both your parents being friends. He knows you like the back of his hand, though the same cannot be said about your knowledge of him. He has always been hard to understand.

It doesn't help that you've been gradually losing your childhood friend due to his popularity. He talks to you once in a while, but he surrounds himself more with his volleyball team and Iwaizumi. At least you found some friends to fill that hole that he and Iwaizumi both leave, even though you see them as irreplaceable.

With a sigh, you return to entering your house. "I'm home," you call out as you take off your shoes. No answer, but you do hear your mother shuffling in the kitchen. You head over to inspect and see another pile of chocolates on the dining table's surface.

"Ah, [Name]. Iwaizumi left those for you," your mother mentions. "He said something about being on a diet for his tournament."

You place Oikawa's share into the pile of chocolates and slowly a smile begins to form. "What a bunch of idiots."

**[x]**

You glance out the classroom window and stare down at the track field. Many students roam about for their gym class but you spot two boys in particular. You recall playing rough outside with them all throughout elementary. Whenever you think back on your elementary school days, you remember the only highlight of it all. The day you won the obstacle course and secured victory for your group with them.

"All right you guys, get into the picture!" your mother hums as the other two mothers scoot their two little boys in the picture.

"Tooru, go hug your friend. She just won first place for your group!"

Rosy cheeks and mesmerized eyes, Oikawa shimmies over to where are you seated. Dirty hands wrap around your waist as he hugs you tightly, squishing his dirt-stained cheek against yours. Iwaizumi hoves over the two of you and places bunny ears on your head, his expression even as always. 

The camera snaps the picture but Oikawa doesn't let go, nor does Iwaizumi leave your side. Instead, the three of you turn to chat some more about field day. The excited chatter has the three mothers smiling ear to ear.

You remember being adored by those two and now you're just a face in the sea of girls that swarm them. It hurts, but you are afraid to speak up. They don't belong to you so why should you care?

"Please read page 157, [L.Name]," the teacher calls out. You break out of your trance with panic and you swipe through the textbook until you find the page indicated by your teacher.

With a gulp, your the panic settles and you recite the words in front of you.

**[x]**

Lunchtime arrives and you head to the cafeteria for some food. Your hand mindlessly grabs whatever it can acquire through the sea of people. It takes a bit, but you finally are able to sit down with your group of friends in a table situated in the middle of the area.

You don't acknowledge your friends and they don't acknowledge you. They're just chattering about the latest gossip about who knows and spreading rumors. Your eyes wander around the room until they land on a certain table filled with volleyball players. There are several girls--popular ones from what your friends have mentioned to you-- littering the boys' breathing space, all with smiles and obnoxious laughter. 

'Maybe that's how I'm supposed to act to get to those two...' you ponder to yourself as you take a bite of your bread. Your chest aches and yearns for the simpler times when there weren't any social barriers to your friends. Maybe you'd be able to sit with your friends.

"Why are you staring over there, [Name]?" you hear some ask. Your eyes slide over to see Risa's bright stare, her eyes sparkle with nefarious interest. Despite her petite stature and innocent expression, she causes mayhem wherever she goes, igniting fights with any information she acquires from others. She scares you even though she is a friend.

"... There's a lot of people over there." Your statement hides everything you truly feel, everything about yourself. Your history, your wants, your needs.

"Didn't you say that you were friends with someone over there?" Risa presses.

A frown paints your lips. You regret ever informing that girl anything. First day of middle school, you tried to speak to Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but that failed miserably. Too many people were interested in your friends and the social wall was too high to climb. Every time you tried, there was always someone in the way. You let your frustrations out to Risa, but her comment ruined any will to continue talking to your friends.

'Well, maybe you weren't as close to them as you thought. It hurts to be the delusional one, right?'

Her words reached a part of your and left an unknown wound. Ever since then, you stuck near her and her friends from middle school, Kiyomi and Mai. They provided some security in this unknown world without your middle school friends, but they were in the business of spreading catastrophic rumors. If you ever had to describe a rumormill, you'd just point at those two. 

"Probably not," you mutter as you return to eating.

Kiyomi snickers, "Wouldn't it be funny if she was friends with the most popular ones?"

"Our quiet [Name]?" Mai gasps. The idea has the girls laughing while you feel a pit in your stomach. "Oh yeah, listen here! Someone said that there was a girl coming in and out of an internet cafe."

"Ew," Kiyomi hums, "did they say who?"

Mai shakes her head. "But it's near the station in um... I can't remember. I will see if I can get more details later."

You feel some sweat form under your pits. It could have been you and you sure as hell don't want them to catch you gaming. Feeling as miserable as possible, you keep your head down as they discuss more uninteresting things. 

**[x]**

The different shades of the late afternoon drowns your surroundings, but you're too much in a hurry to care. Slipping past the school gates you scurry past the last dwindling students who are heading home after their extracurricular activities. Most carry gym bags, and you can recognize some as volleyball members.

One, in particular, captures your attention, but you aren't sure if they notice you. Not wanting to come off as a fangirl, you ignore him and continue rushing towards the school building. However, they grab hold of your arm and you lock eyes with Iwaizumi.

"What are you doing at this time?" he questions sternly. His teammates look on but with only mild interest.

"Ah... I forgot my homework," you admit. He accepts that answer and lets go, then turns on his heel to leave with his teammates. Desperation to continue talking to him overflows from your body and you let out a shout, "A-Are you going home?!"

He doesn't face you, but he hears you and responds, "Yeah, see you later, [F.Name]."

Your heart swells at the sound of your first name and it's enough to keep your adrenaline pumping. With newfound happiness, you return to running inside the building and head straight for your class. Once you see your classroom, you speed past one in particular that causes you to halt.

As your shoes screech to a halt, you grab the attention of a certain brunette. When your eyes lock with his, you realize two things. How lucky are you to bump into the two guys that you so frantically wanted to talk to? And also something might be wrong with one of them. "Tooru?" He doesn't utter a word but remains seated in his chair, frozen stiff. Concern pulls you towards him and you slide the door shut behind you.

You seat yourself in the desk beside him and face the boy, but you find some doubt within yourself. Why are you here? What gives you the right to attempt to be by his side? The doubt eats at you and your feet instinctively try to stand back up again.

"M-Maybe I'm bothering you." Your words hurt your heart and cover your true intentions. As you try to leave, his hand shoots out and grabs hold of the same place Iwaizumi held minutes ago.

"[Name]." His voice comes out strained and confused like he's lost in his afflictions. From how tight his hold is, you find yourself walking closer to him until he embraces you, his head buried in your stomach.

You glance down at his spiky locks and hesitantly wrap your hands around them. It feels natural yet foreign; this is not the boy you used to play with all the time but it is...

"It's okay, Tooru... You'll be okay," you whisper while petting his head. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

He doesn't want to look at you but his hands grab hold of your body tighter. Yet the silence only fuels his need for your comfort. "I feel like I'm hitting a wall and I don't know what to do."

His words remind you of the recurring failures of the volleyball team and how a certain team has knocked them down several times. Losing isn't in your friend's nature, seeing as how he appears greatly affected by it.

It pains you to see him in this state, and you realize that maybe the gap between you two is too much. You've only seen him in a constant state of happiness, always making you smile and laugh. The boy in front of you is harrowed by failure and it feels as if you've charted territories too foreign for your comfort.

"I... should call Iwaizumi--"

"WHY... Why," Oikawa clenches his teeth and glares up at you. He doesn't want to raise his voice at you and tries to hold back his flood of emotions. "Why do you keep leaving my side?"

His question hits you like a semi-truck, but you find a way to fight back. "I... You... You went somewhere I can't follow! I don't know what to do or how to help you!"

He shoots straight up but his glare remains on you. "I'm right here, I've always been right here. But all you care about is hanging out with anyone else but us! Iwa-chan even notices, you never talk to him either!"

Memories of your short encounter with Iwaizumi surface and a blush spreads across your cheeks. "Why do you guys even care? I've been replaced by those fangirls and so obviously I have to find other friends."

This irks the boy even more. "THAT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND!"

You've never been yelled at angrily by Oikawa. Never. All your life he's been somewhat of your protector, someone who treats you carefully. That all stopped at the beginning of middle school. After that, he's been more distant than anything.

And so have you. "What makes you say that?" you try to counter.

Oikawa slams his palm against the desk and huffs out, " It's because I'm always looking at you! I've always looked at you, I've never stopped... and you never stopped either. [Name], I lo--"

The classroom door slides open and you both break your fight. You see your homeroom teacher gawking at the two of you before regaining some composure to lecture you both. "What is happening here? Well, nevermind that! Neither of you should even be in here!"

Oikawa steps forward and protects your teacher's judging gaze on you. "It's my fault, sensei. I had an argument with her and I kept her here for too long."

The teacher gives you a side glance. Your torn expression is more than enough for him to understand that there is some truth to the statement. 

"[Name], is he correct?"

Your heart beats a mile a minute. What was Oikawa going to say to you? You need to hear it, but being caught by your homeroom teacher has your on edge. "Y-Yes. I was trying to get my homework I left in my desk and I bumped into Oikawa. I'm sorry."

He nods his head, "Well, if you say so. I know you aren't a troublemaker... Come, I will unlock my room so you can get that."

Your body doesn't want to move away from Oikawa and you hesitate for a brief moment. When you glance up at Oikawa, he smiles at your softly. "I need to head home. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

You nod your head and scurry behind your teacher. Unfortunately, you grab the wrong textbook and notice too late, all thanks to your head being too far up in the clouds.


	3. The Eyes of Others

**Chapter 3: The Eyes of Others**

You wear a distant gaze as you stare at your handheld system. Your character is being absolutely mobbed by the enemies, but you don't pay any attention to it. You just think back about what Oikawa could have meant.

Was he going to confess? No, you had to be delusional to think that. Maybe he wanted to say that he missed you as a friend. Wait, that might also be delusional to think... but he said that it was all in your head? Is it?

Can you hope that your friend really misses you? Scarlet pigments color your face as you daydream of the boy confessing. You think about how he will hold your hand around others, how he will drown you in affection, and above all how you will be able to talk to him like normal again.

You never imagined yourself as his girlfriend. You always assumed it'd be some super model or the perfect girl at school... just based off his looks. How happy he'd make that girl... how happy any girl would be to be his girlfriend.

You sigh heavily as the word "Game Over" displays on the screen. You restart from your last save point and try again; however, it's the same result as your mind continues to drift to several daydream scenarios.

** [x] **

When you arrive at school, you feel your heart throb with anticipation. You aren't sure how to greet Oikawa, but you definitely want to try. The thought of rumors spreading doesn't deter you, not after the conversation with him. He made you realize that a friendship is still there and it's up to you if you want to continue it.

Once your eyes spot a familiar raven-haired boy by the lockers, you muster up your courage and walk straight up to him. "Good morning, Iwaizumi-kun."

You receive a fair share of looks from random bystanders, but what matters most is his. He appears surprised that you'd talk to him, but he resumes as normal as possible. "Ah, [F.Name]. Morning."

He's always been a boy of few words, but he usually had more to say around you. You begin to feel disheartened but give the conversation a final attempt. "S-So I ate from the pizza place we used to go to a lot. Did you know the old man Ryouta is retiring?"

"Yeah, I heard from his daughter when we were there last weekend."

"Oh, I was there last weekend too."

"I know, I saw you leaving," he crosses his arms. "You ignore us a lot, ya know?"

Your lips seal shut as your heart races with excitement. So your friends really have noticed your absence! You feel some tears line your eyes, mostly from relief that they still consider you their friend despite ignoring them for two years.

"Sorry... I just thought you were busy with your volleyball mates. But text me next time you're passing by there so we can meet up," you boldly state.

You hope it isn't too much of a request, but Iwaizumi nods his head, "Okay."

The bell rings and you beam him a smile. "I gotta go."

You both wave goodbye, and now you feel as if you have a skip to your step. You travel down the hallway, unaware of jealous eyes. When you make it to your homeroom, you find your desk and plop onto it with content.

"Hey, [F.Name]." You turn your gaze to your friend Risa. Judging by her scrunched eyebrows and inquisitive stare, you feel a certain dread incoming. "Is it true you spoke with Iwaizumi at the lockers?"

A frown replaces your hesitant expression. Word gets around quick during middle school, but you didn't realize it also came with its own assumptions and unwarranted emotions. "Yeah?"

You spot Kiyomi and Mai interested in your discussion, and your stomach begins to bubble with worry. Risa gives a low hum. "Ahhh, well everyone is talking about it. People think you are some fangirl that just pushed into his plans."

Your eyes widen with fear. This is exactly what you were afraid of and the reason for your distance. A pain wracks your heart as your lower lips tremble. 

"I am just warning you as a friend, but it's probably best not to reach so far out of your league." Her comment digs into your conscious and tears well up at the self-deprecating thoughts. It doesn't help that a few giggles are heard from earshot, and you're sure they are coming from your other friends. Friends... What an odd word to use on these people that make you feel so insignificant. 

A drowning sensation overcomes your senses, paralyzing you to your desk. You want to speak up and announce your connection to the boy, but you doubt they'd believe you. You don't even believe it yourself.

"Excuse me~" A sly voice enters the classroom, gaining the attention of all. Hope begins to surface from your expression as you glance over to Oikawa, who is stationed at the doorframe. "I'm looking for.." His eyes meet yours, and a churlish hum comes out his mouth.

Risa steps back as Oikawa makes his way to your desk. Unfortunately, you are located in the middle of the classroom for all to see. "O-Oikawa-san?" she gasps.

He doesn't give her an ounce of his time, his eyes locked on you. "I heard you made plans with Iwa-chan. Kinda hurts that you didn't want to talk to me first."

The room goes silent, and you feel an oncoming sweat on the top of your forehead. A million questions form at the tip of your tongue, but you don't know how to proceed. "Tooru... Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't run away again. We still have lots to talk about," he answers simply. He notices the curious gazes of your fellow classmates and narrows his eyes. "Childhood friends stick together, [F.Name]."

Your heartbeat skips a little dance, and a sense of gratification renews life into your body. He gives a wave goodbye and exits the classroom, leaving your classmates and you under his spell. It takes a minute for things to resume as normal, but the moment it does, Risa gives you a pointed stare and huffs off to her desk. 

No one else bothers you for the remainder of the day, but their stares are more than enough to remind you of why you stayed away from those two.

** [x] **

The day ends with relatively no incidents. Maybe some stares here and there during lunch, but you spent it alone and happy. Your friends 'magically' had things to do during the break, though you're sure it was to find a hidden spot to gossip about you. Little did they know but you found their absence a nice respite. 

You travel towards the the volleyball clubroom and notice your two friends talking inside it. There is an urge to speak to them, but you aren't sure what to say. You also don't want to push your luck on the matter.

Iwaizumi senses your longing gaze and eyes your direction. When he spots you, he waves you over with an even expression. You quickly take heed and rush over to the room. 

Oikawa's mouth parts slightly at your arrival. "Oh, you're here."

"You did say you wanted to talk," you mumble as squirm in your shoes.

Iwaizumi eyes the both of you and detects his third-wheel presence. "I'll see you out in the fields." Before either of you can tell him to stay, he jogs away from the room.

"... I suppose it's for the best," Oikawa sighs. He stretches his arms in the air, a ploy to delay the inevitable but you watch on with interest. 

"Um!" you begin, "I wanted to say thank you for earlier today."

He cocks his head to the side as he ponders on what you mean.

"I wasn't sure where we stand in terms of our relationship. So when Risa asked, I was afraid to answer it," you explain.

"Risa? Is that the friend you replaced us with?" he frowns.

"I..." You aren't sure how to respond to his question. Ever since you first started your distance, it's always been Risa and friends that kept you company. You got along generally well with them but only on the surface. In all honesty, you didn't connect with anyone, having feared the judgment of many.

You recall elementary school being a difficult time. All people did was talk about you behind your back just because you hung out with the two most popular kids at school. You did your best to ignore it, and both Oikawa and Iwaizumi did their best to quell your inner turmoil. 

But now in middle school, the kids are crueler. It was just easier to be with people that didn't garner much attention from the school's population. You felt hidden, obscure from anything that could hurt you.

Your gaze lowers to your shoes. "I needed replacements if I was to get through middle school."

"You shouldn't even have replaced us in the first half," Oikawa pouts as he crosses his arms.

"I was lonely... and you guys were always so busy with other people," you describe your worries. 

He lets out a long sigh, "[F.Name], I told you that it's all in your head--"

"BUT IT'S NOT!" you shout over him, silencing the boy. "You were always surrounded by people and it was hard to reach you. You guys thought I wasn't making an effort, but you saw me! You saw me in that sea of girls, but you did nothing."

Oikawa scratches the back of his head in shame. 

"You're waiting for me to be the brave one and stomp through those girls, but you know it's not me. You two are the brave ones here, I'm just... there." Tears begin to fall, a signal of your nonexistent confidence. 

"[F.Name], you are never just there for us though--"

"HEY!" someone yells out. You both turn to see a random volleyball member waving at Oikawa. "Coach is calling us for some important news."

"I should leave you be," you sniffle as you wipe your nose.

Oikawa grabs hold of your face and presses his lips against yours. When he pulls away, he gazes at you with a look you've hardly ever seen.

_"Wait for me."_

And with that, he leaves you in a stupor as he rushes after his fellow club member. It takes you a few moments to process the kiss, and when you do, you let out a loud gasp

**"E-EH?!"**


End file.
